I felt all that the day I went to Tenar’s house in Archosaur and saw her “something”, Totenkamon, leaving, not before kissing Tenar. But it was a funny feeling, you know?, on one side I felt heartbroken, with all the symptoms above; on the other side I felt rage, blinding, numbing , pure rage. How dare he? How dare to come here after being away for so long, having her worried and not even send a note? He was a big ass.

I clench my fist and turn around. I wanted to hit him, to challenge him to a duel and kill him in the spot for all the thing he put Tenar through, but I realize that was not a good idea for:

a) He is stronger than me, has better armor and a bigger axe that the one I carry.

b) I saw Tenar kissing him back, so I thought that, somehow, she had forgiven him, and there was no point in having my butt kicked over a lost fight.

So I turn around without saying anything.

A couple of days later I ran into Tenar. At that moment I felt my legs turn into jelly, you know the feeling: suddenly you feel like all your bones have been extracted or liquefied, all the world loses his meaning an you stand there with a funny look in your face, a look that many will think  as the sing of being nervous, while the truth  is that the look correspond to what your mind is thinking, that basically is: How the hell can I still be standing when I am sure that my legs are made of lemon flavored jelly?

But I kept it together. I didn’t show fear or panic, not even when the firsts words from my mouth where:

—blabla blu?

Tenar smiled and said:

—I am ok, thank you. How are you?

I thought to answer to that question with an updated compendium of how you can feel like flushed down to hell from the worst public bathroom in Archosaur —the one in the docks, near the Elder of the city— when your heart is broken, instead I just said “I am doing ok”.

We talked for a while of no topic specific. After half an hour I decided to ask her about Toten.

—So —I said trying to be as cool as possible— what about Toten? Are you two back together? Have you forgotten all the pain he put you through when he disappeared? Is he really such a douche that he thinks he can came back and everything is going to be ok, that all is forgiven, forgotten and honky dory?

Way to keep my cool.

She looked at me with sadness.

—I don’t know —she said, her voice has deep and dark, I could tell she was not having a good time, and I was not helping her— everything has changed, at least for me. I cannot tell you I don’t have feelings for him, but the truth is I don’t like him anymore.

A big what started to form in my throat, but for some reason my lips stopped it. I wanted to know then why she had kiss him, and why she  went for a ride with him the other day, but I guess my mouth thought it was not the right time.

—I felt so lonely when he disappeared, but know that he is back is different. I can see he can be a prick sometimes. You know what he just told me the other day?

I nodded with my head as my tongue tried to push the words that were still in my mouth through my close lips. No success.

—He told me that I haven’t improve in my adventurer skills because he hasn’t been around, but that he was now here to help me. It is incredible.

I saw Tenar’s face turn red with anger. I knew that if she has put her training in hold was to help me improve my abilities, as I am in a lower level than her.

—So are you going back with him?

—I don’t know. I did like him you know, but he left me without even a note, and now everything has changed. But I don’t want to be alone.

—Well, you are not alone —I said trying to look the cuter that was pandaly possible.

—You know, I’ve been thinking —I started to say, choosing my words very carefully so I was brief and to the point— that, well, you and I have been questing for a while now, and, well, and I know that we have had our differences in the past, but we do look good together. I mean, we’ve had a good time questing together, and, well, I mean, you are not alone, I am with you, and, God why is so hot inside this armor, well I’ve been thinking a lot about us and, wow, and I didn’t wanted to say this like this but, I mean, I was hoping for the right time, but, well, I guess that I am trying to say that I’ve been thinking about us lately and I guess, I mean if you want, that maybe, boy is this armor hot, well that maybe we can get married.

Way of being brief and to the point.

Tenar stood there in silence. Why every woman I ask to marry me does the same thing?

—I don’t know what to say —she said, proving her wrong.

—Well, you don’t have to say nothing. It is an idea I had for quite some time, since we started to go into quests together. I don’t know, it feels right, you know?

—I think it does feel right, and I want to, but I need to solve thing with Toten first. After all he was, and is, very important in my life; I can’t just blow him off

“Yes you can” I thought, he did so, in my mind, it was logical that she paid with the same currency.

—What are you saying?

—I am saying yes, I like you very much, and I also think it is right. But I need some time to break the news to Toten. Be patient, please.

My head said yes. We said goodbyes a little while after that. When she flew away I could tell she was kind of confused, as she almost hit a tree in her way up to the sky.

A couple of minutes I was alone, well, as alone as you can be in this perfect world of ours, where when you are not surrounded by people, you are surrounded by blood thirsty monsters. I was so involve in my thoughts that I don’t remember, to this day, if I was surrounded by ones or the others.

Let me explain myself. After the adventure at the frost covered city, I realize that I cared about Tenar a little bit too much. That was not a problem, since we’ve been hanging out for quite a while now. I mean, with Hana administering her new guild and Tenar’s “something”, Toten, missing, we’ve been spending a lot of time together, and somehow it felt right. That is until the other day.

I was doing some mining, because I need some iron to built a new pair of axes, well not that I am going to built them, I flunk blacksmithing 101,  but I have a blacksmith friend that all he ask is for the materials. So I was gathering some iron when all of a sudden Hana appear beside me. She flew all the way from Archosaur to where I was just to speak with me. I was happy to see her, but strike me a little odd that she wanted to speak with me with such urgency, since it’s been quite a time since we last saw each other, but I was getting use to have a working girlfriend.

—Can we talk? —she asked in a kind of serious tone of voice.

—Sure, what’s up?

—Do you like Tenar?

My blood went all the way down to my feet. I didn’t know what to answer, I mean, I’ve not came to think about Tenar in those terms, but now that Hana said so, well, the idea didn’t sound all that weird.

I thought that honesty was the best policy, after all I do love Hana and there was no reason not to be completely honest. So I cleared my throat, and answer the best I could:

—I don’t know, I mean, I haven’t come to think about it, but I guess it could be possible.

Hana just stood there, watching me with those bewitching color changing eyes of her. She say nothing, she just waited for me to keep talking. I felt all the weight of the world in my shoulders. I clear my throat again, for some reason it kept closing up on me.

—Well —I said— we’ve been hanging around a lot lately, and we are good business, I mean, we can do a lot more money solving problems, since she is a field cleric. I don’t know, I haven’t seen you around lately, and it is ok, I mean, you have a new job, but you haven’t been around. So, maybe I am. Maybe I am falling for her. I am sorry.

I swear I heard her heart breaking up, I certainly felt mine cracking.

We stood in silence for a long while. It was one of those silences you experiment when something is over and you just don’t know exactly how to move on, or what to say; it was one of those long and terrible “it is over” kind of silence.

After a while, that felt like an eternity, she smiled and said:

—It’s ok.

— I hope we still friends —I said felling like taurox crap— you know I’ve never meant to hurt you. You are very important to me, just that things got entangled, in a sad way.

—Yes, we are still friends, don’t worry. I understand. I’m not going to tell you I am not sad, but I understand. We are good. I gotta go.

She spread her wings and flew away. I stood there feeling like the biggest pile of crap in the whole face of our perfect world.

It is funny how things happen some times. There I was, watching Hana flying away, and on one side —my good one I guess— I felt terrible for what I just did. But on the other side I felt good, I mean, the more I came to think about it, the more it made sense, maybe I did like Tenar. The simple thought was enough to get me exited. I left the iron and climb on my hellhound, Annwn, and rode to Archosaur to find Tenar and share with her my recent discovery.

I stop at her house in the big city. I climb down Annwn and knocked on her door. I never expected what I just saw. Toten opened the door. He was there watching at me with the same gaze I was watching him, a look that spelled: “What in hell are you doing here?”

Tenar came out of the house and looked at me, her face looked worried.

—Towee. It is nice to see you, but is not a good time. Toten and I are going out, we need to talk. Will I see you later?

Toten didn’t wait for my answer. He climbed on a hellhound that looked just like mine, but a little better brushed, and with one quick pull he helped Tenar to climb with him. They rode off as I just stood there, on Tenar’s doorstep, with no more company than Annwn, who was more interested in the kids across the street.

The second thing is a rumor; so far, it is a prophecy that says that this perfect world of ours is coming to an end. As it seems, and as many prophets have been interpreting the signs, the end is near. Nothing will ever be the same. Right now I am hearing all kinds of crazy talking, from adventurers and merchants alike, about a new land ruled by soothsayers that, according to the rumors, holds some information about this apocalypse. I will look into it, after all I made myself an adventurer so I could help and save people. Besides I really like this place as it is, and I guess that with and Armageddon, the land value will really go down.

The third thing is that after a long time without any signs of living, without any warning, or anything, and after we called off the search parties and spend a lot trying to look for him, Totenkamon, Tenar’s “something”, has returned. I can see that Tenar is troubled, and it breaks my heart

For a long time Tenar and other members of my guild has been going over there, because they say that there are treasures beyond a panda’s imagination, so every other day many adventurers raid that dungeon in their search for loot and fame.

Every time I’ve wanted to go, the other members of my guild, Tenar included, has said to me that I was too young. I can’t even begin to tell you how many nights we have gather in the local tavern, other guild members, Tenar and myself, and I have spent all night, bore to my furry toes, listening to their exploits in the dreadful Frostcovered City. But every time I said I wanted to go, their answer was the same: “you are too young, you are not ready”.

Not many things make my level of frustration rise as this, maybe the other thing that really drives me nut, to point of wanting to rip the fur right out of my head, is listening to Tenar’s stories, and how her “something” Toten, was the best adventurer to ever set foot in that dungeon. That story was right for the first couple of times, but try hearing it a thousand times and you end sick of it.

Anyhow, one day I convinced Tenar, against all her good judgment to take to the Frostcovered City. I know I am not old enough, but for the good old Turtle God sake, I am smart, smarter that other untamed. What I lack in age, I have in wits and that as to count for something.

She said yes, against all that she thought, because she felt responsible for me, and if I died, she was going to be very upset. But that didn’t worry me; I have not intentions to die in dungeon that looks very much like one of those magic freezers the magi use in Archosaur. I am an adventurer, a fighting panda, a warrior; I can take whatever a dungeon throws at me.

I was afraid though. I remember being a little sick the day Tenar went to my hut and said:

“Gear up; we are going to Frostcovered City”

I know it is not very bold, but my first intention was to pretend I had the flu, and find an excuse to get out of that dreadful trip to a certain cold dead, but after a moment I realized that this was what I’ve been wanting for a long long time, so I put on my best plate armor, grab my trustful axes, and head north with Tenar.

From where I live, FC is two days of serious traveling. We make it to our destination in a day and a half. I didn’t realize, but the excitement had been growing inside of me, so practically I ran all the way.

When we arrive to FC, we met with the rest of our party: a veno called Yessenia; Lunka, the sister of our guild leader; Aldeano, one of the best blademaster ever, a real pro; Tenar, whom, by the way, make me a lot of pots and special concoctions; and me.

As soon as we arrive we entered the fearful Frostcovered City. At the moment the door opened a shiver went down my spine. It was not only the cold that felt in those parts of our perfect world, it was the stench of dead, and that sticky feeling that pure evil left in your skin when you face it.

With the squeaking sound of the door, I saw one of my worst fears come true: the place was infected with all kinds of wraiths.  I remember thinking to myself that this truly was a terrible place, where demons roam freely, and good and kindness rot in just minutes. For a moment I fear for my mortal soul.

Then I heard the scariest phrase I’ve ever heard in my life: “We have no tank, so you will have to do all the work”.

—Wait a minute —I said— I didn’t sign up for this, there was supposed to be a pro tank with us. I don’t think I am ready, I am too young.

But nothing I could say matter. I took the job or lose face in front of Tenar and the squad. So I put a poker face, grab my axes as if there was no tomorrow, and say: “Yes, I will do it”

Tenar doesn’t know this, but at the minute I said those words, I could see her face turning paper white. I want to think that was because she was afraid for me, but it could also be the reflection of the snow on her skin. For all purposes I will stick to the first.

A tank’s work in this god forsaken place is to run around, making all the evil monsters pursue him, the he gets all of their attention and gets beaten while the others sneak upon the wraiths. No wonder why many tanks die, in my first run a bunch of those monster started to hit me really hard. But I stood my ground and did not die. At that moment, though, an old poem, the one that my granddad used to tell me before I went to bed started inside my mind:

“I have a rendezvous with Death

At some disputed barricade,

When the spring comes back with rustling shade

And apple blossoms fill the air –

I have a rendezvous with Death

When spring brings back blue days and fair.

It may be he shall take my hand

And lead me into his dark land

And close my eyes and quench my breath—

It may be I shall pass him still.

I have a rendezvous with Death

On some scarred slope of battered hill,

When spring comes round again this year

And the first meadow-flowers appear.

God knows ‘twere better to be deep

Pillowed in silk and scented down,

Where love throbs out in blissful sleep

Pulse nigh to pulse, and breath to breath,

Where hushed awakenings are dear…

At midnight in some flaming town,

When spring trips north again this year.

And I to my pledged word am true

I shall not fail that rendezvous.”

This words where all I heard as I stated to bleed under the swords of our enemy, as I felt punch after punch against my body. But I also made a pledge, no one will die, so I had to hang on, fight with all my might, reap the flesh with my axes, my hands, even my own bare teeth. Seconds passed by as if they where ours. And then, all of a sudden, the rest of the party arrived, throbbing steel as if there was no tomorrow. Faster seconds passed and the first wave of wraiths lied dead at our feet.

At that moment I felt alive. I turn to Tenar and so her in the eye. She had a mixture of proud and fear, I could tell, but she didn’t said a word, she just gave me a thumbs up and show me the way to the next room.

We faced or first big boss at exactly midnight. I remember because I thought that the hour was the most appropriate for the task ahead. All of a sudden: chaos.  The boss attacked us with all his might. In seconds many of the party members suffer from the terrible effects of some dark spells. They struggle to stay alive as I tried to keep the boss attention focused on me. He was hitting me hard, but I take it. He didn’t put a spell on me though, maybe he thought I was not a worthy adversary, or maybe he was more comfortable hitting me with all his might, but his over confidence played to our gain. After some bloody minutes he lay dead at our feet. His treasure was ours to take.

I started to feel very comfortable in that place. Tenar had told me that I was doing a very good job, also the rest of the squad. I felt happy

But happy and comfort are not the best aid in a place like that. All of a sudden, as I was pulling a group of wraiths into a corner, so my companions sneak up on them, a sudden blow to the head threw me to ground.

As the blood ran down my temples I saw Aldeano grab all the monsters and start to kill them. Blow after blow of his fists wraiths fall down. His armor started to look weak with all the dents that the enemy swords made. He was holding the best he could, as well as Yessenia, but I knew they could not hold much longer. “I failed them” I thought. Then I remember the light and the warm of Tenar’s hand on my head. I remember how life filled me up again. I stand up and look at Tenar. We didn’t say a thing; we just look for a glimpse of time. I transformed myself into my tiger form —an old untamed trick— and jump over the first wraith I found. I closed my jaws with all my might and felt the monster skull break, her body loose as life had left it. Literally I spat it to the ground and throw my talons into a new victim. One after the other the wraith fell to our still and claws. At the end of the battle we stood exhausted. We triumphed, and as we started to celebrate a wraith, that was not dead yet, casted a spell upon us. Her words were cold, and sharp, and they filled with sorrow our very souls as Aldeano disappeared in front of our own eyes. He just vanished. Lunka raised her staff and deliver a killer blow to the wraith’s head, but it was just too late.

We had to keep going. There was no time for grief, not in there at least. So we kept going into the next chamber, with the next wraith’s boss.

We stood in front of him. I remember I had to look up for a long while to see all of him. His wolf like face had a glance that could break any of the brave men of the Archosaur guard. But not us, and if it did no one say nothing. We hold his look as he started to wave his arms around, those handless arms, as his hand where replaced with long bloodstained blades. In a second the fight started.

We took turns to hit him as Tenar heal every one of us. Lunka shoot lightning bolts from her hand as Yessenia send her pets to attack the terrible beast.

I managed to sneak upon him and deliver a terrible blow to his lower leg. I heard the sound of flesh and tendons reaping under the weight of my axe. The beast was grounded to that very spot; his left leg was completely useless.

Under Tenar’s cares the deed was an easy one. It took time as the wraith boss was a tough one, but my lucky blow to his leg, and our bravery tilted the balance to our way. As the beast exhale his last breath and felt to the ground with a deafening sound, the door to the master chamber open, revealing an enormous treasure to our eyes.

Mountains of gold; more that we could carry stood there, waiting to fill our backpacks. I stood in there, amazed, as the other loot the treasure. Without any explanation —I think magic doesn’t need explanation, or I am just too dumb to understand it— Aldeano appeared in front of our own eyes. I like to think that we broke the curse of the dungeon and he came back from wherever he was. His eyes where different though, and he haven’t spoke about the place he went, no matter how much you ask, he always change the subject, anyhow we were happy to have him back.

We left Frostcovered City at dawn. For me it was a rite f passage, earning my place in the guild.

As we started the journey back home Tenar allowed herself a moment, for she was brave and didn’t show concern in our entire ordeal, but when it was over, she told me that I did a good job and held me close in a tight hug. Then, in silence, we started to walk, leaving in the snow a track that was meant to be covered by the blizzard and the step of other adventurers.

Tenar is trying to be strong, I admire that in her. She can be so strong at times, and she can break in tear at the next. I have to say that one of the things I like about her is that she is able to surprise me always.

All this time we have spent a lot of time together. Business time, I mean, we have killed a lot of creatures together and save a ton of people, all in a good panda’s day of work. Is funny, her significant other is missing and I haven’t seen Hana in a while, for a totally different reason though. Hana started an adventurer guild.

Here in this perfect world of ours, a guild is serious business, is a bunch of adventurers who help each other, support and defend each other. Having a guild is not only good to make money, is also good for survival. I cannot tell you how many times we have save each other butts in my guild, sometimes we fight mobs, but sometimes we fight another guilds, because let’s face it, this is not the kind of world that everybody is good to everybody, sometimes other people, with agendas and ambitions of their own, decide that you are on their way, and they kill you without further explanation, or at least an excuse me.

The point is that Hana open her own guild, and it’s been a busy one since day one. The guild I am in, Hage Fosti, is a big one, almost two hundred members, Hana’s, two weeks after she started, is fifty members or more, talk about successful enterprises.

But now, as she’s entered the corporative world, and her men are eager for direction, she is very busy. And I totally understand it. So I’ve spend my time with Tenar, just like the old days. And I have to admit I am having a blast.

It all started three weeks ago when one of my pets got sick. For all of you that are not very familiar with the barbarian way of life, let me tell you that we all have pets, the venomancer are the only ones that can tame the animals, but we all enjoy having a good ride or even a little dog. And it was my little dog that got sick, very sick. It spent all week with a foot in the other land, and I stand at her side all week long till she got better.

While taking care of her I came to think a lot about life and death and everything in between, and how one can spend a life time without achieving anything. So I made the decision that, one my pet was better, I will ask Hana to marry me.

And so, as things started to look better for my poor doggie, I search for Hana, the cleric. When I found her, she told me that she was confused, because another guy asked her to marry him. My jaw fell to the floor. Hana and I’ve been dating for a while at that point, so the news of another guy wanted to marry her was a complete surprise to me.

—I don’t know how to shake him off —she said— I don’t want to marry him

I saw in this an opportunity to make my marring intentions clear.

—Well —said I while holding her hand— why don’t you tell him that you are engaged?

Her color changing eye opened wide. She was speechless; the only sounds that came out of her mouth where: “but, but”, “are you asking me”, but, but”.

—I am asking you to marry me —I said while putting a knee into the ground.

Te moment was the most romantic. We were at this place where the peaches blossom, in a bridge over a river with the clearest waters in the entire continent. I was in love.

Her silence was terrible. I counted 20 seconds without worry, then 40, then 60, when the silence extended for two whole minutes I began to worry.

—Is ok if you need some time to think —I told her with my heart about to blow in a million pieces. She didn’t said a thing, just nodded with her head for, right after that, spread her wings and fly away, from the river, from the peaches and from me.

I went on with business as usual for a couple of days. From time to time I rent my axes to the Tide army, so I kept my mind busy in their battlefield, cracking open wraith skulls, and saving the day, with a bunch of other voluntaries.

At the third day a messenger came to the Tide war camp with a letter to me. I opened it and read that Hana wanted to talk to me, so I gave my last report to the tide general and flew away.

She asks me to meet her in the same place where I proposed to her, so I flew there as fast as I could. When I arrived she was already there.

I say hi, and ask about the healing business. We talk about everything and about nothing. The way the land was, the wraith invasion, the pot price, the new clothes that were dressed at Archo. I didn’t want to bring the subject of my proposal, because it may felt like I was imposing to her, so I ramble on for another twenty minutes until she brought it up.

Nothing, not even years of battlefield experience, prepared me for what she had to say, so when she said that she didn’t wanted to marry, my heart was literally blow away. But if some piece of it remained, her next words kill it completely.

—I am in love with someone else.

All the blood in my body went down to my feet. I don’t know if we pandas are capable of looking pale, but I am sure I was. Could not talk, could not think. She loved someone else, someone besides me, and for the look of it, she loved him more than she loved me.

—Why I always hurt people? —she asked as her sight fell to the floor. I was mute.

—I am very sorry, I’ve never meant to do you harm. I am so very sorry.

She spread her wing and left me there for a second time, all heartbroken and holding with all my might so she didn’t see me cry as she flew away.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world Tenar, my friend, was spending time with her significant other: Totenkamon. When Tenar and Toten started to date I was kind of happy. He is a very brave warrior, so I knew he would keep her protected at all times. I quest with them a time or two, and it was ok, we were a good team, except for the fact that, at all times, he was marking all my mistakes and busting my chops for not having the right equipment. At those moments I said nothing, I mean he is Tenar’s boyfriend or something like that, so for respect to her I kept my mouth shot.

But it came one day that Tenar, Dai and I were hunting down three fugitives. Tenar invited Toten to join us. He did, and from the moment he arrived to the moment I left the cave he was a real pain in the butt.

He didn’t say it openly, but I had the sensation that he came to help so he could take Tenar away from us. I didn’t like that at all, so after we killed the last of the fugitives I took my faithful flying ray and took off to Archosaur, leaving Toten, Tenar and Toten’s cousin behind —I later found out that Toten’s cousin punched Dai, and I don’t know yet how to interpret that.

I don’t know you, but I have a hard time when I lose a girlfriend, so it was not the moment to start losing friends because of her boyfriend’s jealousy, so I talked to Tenar and told her how I felt about the hole “I am jealous of Towee and I have to show him I am superior so he doesn’t hang out with Tenar” crap. She was not pleased with what I told her, but she understood. We agree in still being friends, and that I will try not to get in the way when she was with Toten, for her relation and my sanity sake.

So I felt alone. So alone, because Dai wasn’t talking to me either, that it scared me. By those days I got a new ride, which made things a little better, also my doggie was doing fine, so I felt a little happy in a sea of sadness.

A week later I ran into Hana. One of those awkward moments when you meet the person you still love in the middle of a corpse filled dungeon. We killed the last two evil minions and get to talk. At that point she told me that she was in love with me, and that she just said all those things to push me away, because she was afraid to get hurt. But that she loved me and she wanted to be with me, and that if I still was interested in the answer to my question, it was yes.

I felt very happy at the moment, and I could have jumped all around Pangu at the moment. She loved me and she had said yes. If it could have been possible to marry her at that moment, I am sure I would have done so, but it wasn’t. So, as happy as I was, a shadow of doubt clutched my heart, make me doubt. My never ending love for Hana now had a crack, a crack that I don’t know yet how to glue. Don’t take me wrong, I still love her, and her words where the most wonderful words I ever heard in all my panda life, but there is something that scares me, maybe is nothing, but the possibility of having my heart broken for a third time makes me very nervous.

So I’ve decided to take things easy. We are dating again, and so far it feels very good, but my heart still needs a little time so I can take the next step. I feel s bad about this, but I guess that if I rushed things up it could be very bad for me, and for her. Oh, and she still have issues to solve before we can be really happy.

So things are back on their track, well kind off. I still feel lonely, Hana needs to solver her issues, and Tenar’s significant other, Toten, is missing, and hasn’t shown up in while. My friend is very worried.

Part of my philosophy has always been to stand alone. Is not that I don’t trust other people, but let’s face it, in this perfect world of ours; it is just a matter of time before someone let you die by yourself facing a terrible monster. But I understand. Now, that does not means that it makes me happy, but I don’t hold a grudge against my friends just because of that.

Never the less, I know one can only get so far being alone, because, as the thinker said once, no panda is an island, so I have friend, close ones, the one that you will trust with your life, if you are the trusting with your life kind-a-guy. I just introduce them in my last entry, but I want you to know them better, because they are truly a great bunch.

Let’s start with the owner of my panda heart. Akatsuki Hana. I really don’t know much about her, well I know that I love her, that she is a cleric, that she likes clothes and that she cares about me; she care so much that she says that if I don’t take care of myself, she will kick my butt, and trust me: she can. Hana is just wonderful, she is brave, and beautiful. What can I said, I really like her. Ever since we first met, I felt something for her, something so strong that make a stubborn bachelor like myself change his mind, twice.

But the truth is that not everything has run smoothly, once she broke with me for another guy. I am not going to say that it hurt me, basically because panda don’t cry, even if their heart is broken into as many pieces as an old china plate that’s just been clean by a really clumsy person. The bottom line is that after that incident I swore not to have a girlfriend ever again. But I just could not be far away from here, honestly, she is a great friend, so we kept on being friends for a while.

One that day something happen that caught my attention. Well two things actually. The first one was inside this ugly dungeon. We decided to explore it because someone told us that some really bad guys were hiding there, now I don’t know if you now this but the bounty hunter business is real good in Pangu, so any real adventurer is bound to do it at some point. Well, the case is that a party of us adventurers went into this dungeon, because, let’s face it, we needed the money. Suddenly as one venomancer say hi to me Hana stud between the venomancer and I and said “My Panda”. That gave me the first clue that perhaps she was not entirely over me.

The second thing was this other venomancer, I thing is a relative of Hana, although I have no recollections of venomancers and fairies being related, but it is known that after one of the great wars, and after we untamed and the fairies reached a non kill each other —or eat for that matter— understanding, fairies and untamed like to hang out together, and found love among each other. Is a very curios phenomenon really, because there was a time when our great, great grandfathers could not stand each other. But I am rambling. The case is that this venomancer ask me if I had a crush on Hana. At first I did not know what to answer. It is hard to expose oneself like that. After thinking it for a moment I decided to tell the truth and answer yes.

And what would you know. That same afternoon, as we explore another dungeon together, she asked me if I still like her.

“Of course I do”, I told her. “Do you still like me?”

“Yes”, she said.

At that moment I felt my socks roll inside my boots. I took her hand, look her in her beautiful color changing eyes, and ask her if she want us to date again. She said yes, and after a month or so it’s been so far so good.

Dairokkan. As I said before Dairo is a very skilled blade master. She is one of those girls you don’t want to mess with, specially because she can slice you as if you where a piece of ham. She is great handling any kind of weapons. Lately she got this polearm, and trust me, she really know how to use it. I’ve seen rattus lords being cut to ribbons faster than a lightning hits the ground. I told you; she is deadly.

Dai is not bad looking herself, sometimes she just have one of those bad hair days though, but don’t mention it to her if you care for yours, ‘cause I’ve seen her shave a cat’s fur just because she thought the cat was smiling, and she did it with her polearm, so you do the math. The case is that Dai is not bad looking, she used to have a boyfriend, but no one know where he is anymore, rumor has it that Dai used him to sharp a knife, or two, of her collection; I happened to know otherwise, the guy was a prick so Dai broke up with him, simple right? He got eaten by a swamp wraith and as no one saw him again, well people on Archosaur start telling all kind of stories. Dai never said what happened, and I think the stories amuse her, as the newest are even more crazy that the one of the knife. I guess I recall one inn keeper at Plume saying that Dai was a cannibal and that she ate the poor fellow in soup. But as I told you they are all just stories.

Then there is Tenar Aewin. Boy, where to start. My story with Tenar has been a little complicated. At the beginning we were adventure buddies. We do all sort of things together. But if you know the untamed, then you´ll know that when we are young, well we feel trap very fast, so I started to feel trapped with her. We weren’t an item, it was just that I wanted to roam free, you know, without having to give anyone explanations or anything; and she, well, she is a girl, and was a girl back then, and they just don’t understand that feeling we men get from time to time, to do things on their own, to burp and fart, and piss wherever we like; also the fact that at that time I got my own personal ghost haunting me —it was  a banshee that got stuck to me after raiding a castle, but I am not going to bore you with that— didn’t help a lot. So I kind of start avoiding her. Ok, I know now, after having my head hit by just one too many taurocs, that it was not the best thing to do or the most polite, but is too late for that.

I got to admit, against my panda pride, that I started to miss her, so when we made peace and hang out from time to time, I was happy. She is a cleric too, I don’t recall to which god, as I myself am not a very religious panda, but I know that she is a great healer and she got big power. Yet, as someone said once, with great power, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, and so is hard to hang out with her anymore, because she always have someone to help, so is not weird that from time to time she left me to go aid another adventurer, which hurts, but I guess I deserve it, I don’t know maybe is karma, therefore I cannot get mad.

This are three of my closest friends, they are not the only ones, I have more, but I have no time at the moment. I must  resume one of my many quests, because if one has friends in Pangu, the truth is that a guy in my line of work makes many enemies too.  Right now I have my eyes set in this snake guy, a naga named Slitt. He has wounded me so many times that now is personal, so I am going to hunt him, kill him, and maybe make some luggage with him.

So long.

But let me start at the beginning. My birth. I was born in September 5 many, but many, moons ago. I first came to this world in a little hut in the City of the Lost, the place where all untamed live, or at least I thought that when I was little, when all I know about Pangu —that is the name of my land— was the front and the back yards of my house.

My father was a lumberjack, my mother used to be a book keeper for one of the local merchants. I take out of none of them, I don’t like to gather wood, and I don’t know much math. Since my childhood I had other interest, inspired by the knights novels of my grandpa… da  (har, har), I dreamt with adventure and being a panda in shining armor. I got my first sword; well, it was not a sword, it was my mom kitchen knife, and I didn’t have it, more like secretly borrowed it, when I was six. Armed with it I went into the street in search of a big quest. That day I got to stab a sack of grain from the local merchant. The sack didn’t represent any real danger, so the merchant rattle on me to my parents.

For many, many years since that day, my father tried to convince me to follow the family trade and become a lumberjack. I refuse, young a cute as I where, turns out that I was also a little prick and so, in order to rebel from my father wish, I came to study blacksmithing.

My father wasn’t jumping with joy, but being a blacksmith is as good a job as any, so he got out of my back. I didn’t finished school. What can I say, between the classes, the hot furnace and the material recollection, I almost die of boredom. I left Blacksmith School in the middle of the course and head for my real calling, adventure.

By that time I had a couple of well balanced, dull sharpened axes. They where my first. Armed with those I went out of the City of the Lost to kill any vermin that stand in my way. I killed a lot of flowers and bugs, and other things just as disgusting. When I came home, the news of me as a cape crusader reach my father ears, he reached his belt and I reached for the door.

I left home, and don’t regret it. At last, a life of adventure was waiting for me. Besides I just heard about this new danger lurking in to Pangu: The wraiths.

I spent a long time wandering Pangu, doing different errands for different people. Becoming a pretty reliable sword for hire. I visit the lands of the north as well as the Islands of the south. I went to the desserts of the Valley of Wolves, and descended into very dangerous, very old dungeons. I swap away a vast number of species, from mantis, to pyrogloths, and such. I fell in love, and a few moths latter I got my heart broken. But I fall in love again, with the same girl Akatsuki Hana, a cleric from the city of Plume. She is also an adventurer,  and a very good healer. In more than one of my adventures she had literally brought me back from the land of the dead. She is great: brave, funny and good looking. I am glad we are back together.

In my many runs through this world I have met some amazing people. Tenar Aewin, another cleric and my first adventure companion, she is the equivalent to dialing 911 in a desperate situation. Dairokkan, a brave blade master, she is human, and can kill you with a paper sheet if needed, trust me, I have seen some ugly beasts fell down to her blades. Luttka and Sarweny, the venomancers, they alone have tamed a lot of pets and fight very bravely side by side. Bloody Storm, and assassin from the fish people land, he is very good, when he comes around you can’t hear a thing, only a kin sense of smell, like my own, is capable of detecting that mild fish scent, that sometimes can be the difference between life and death. And many others, adventurers like myself that enjoy the same in the wilderness that in the comfortable inns of Archosaur.

And so, this is my life…